Friday 25 November 2016

Discipline of Centering Prayer

 Fr. George Maloney wrote an eight-day retreat experience called “Alone With The Alone”. This retreat book is written from the stance of contemplative prayer. Also,  Fr. Thomas Keating through his writing on contemplative prayer, explains the discipline of Centering prayer in his book "Open Mind, Open Heart". Paradoxically, my discovery of the writings of both Maloney and Keating happened at the same time, and they blended together in such a way as to provide a path of light that I would follow in the years to come.

    



Maloney’s approach was simple. Over an eight-day period, he guides one through an exploration of Jesus’ life from a contemplative perspective, providing scripture reflections, but more importantly, times of stillness, times to listen to the gentle movements of the spirit within oneself. In the introduction, he would write: (pg. 24)

“To contemplate is to move beyond your own activity and become activated by the inner power of the Holy Spirit. It means to be swept up into the threefold love current of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In the silent prayer of the heart, a gift of the Spirit praying within you, you move beyond feelings, emotions, even thoughts. The Spirit is so powerfully operative that imagining or reasoning can only be noise that disturbs the silent communication of God at the core of your being. If you introduce “noise” by speaking words and fashioning images of God, then you are limiting His freedom to speak His word as He wishes, when He wishes. The Holy Spirit frees you so God can give Himself to you. With utter freedom and joy, respond always in deep silence and humble self-surrender to His inner presence.”

  

Fr. Thomas Keating’s book “Open Mind Open Heart”, although on the same subject, was entirely different. It was more like a “how to do” book explaining what contemplation is and what it is not, the history of contemplation, a chapter by chapter description on how to do it followed by a very detailed discussion on the difficulties encountered by others with responses. Although it is not my purpose here to explain the techniques of centering prayer, I have quoted the following from his book (pg. 110) to explain his teaching.

The method


“To do this systematically, take up a comfortable position that will enable you to sit still. Close your eyes. Half of the world disappears for we generally think most about what we see. In order to slow down the usual flow of thoughts, think just one thought. For this purpose choose a word of one or two syllables with which you feel comfortable.

A general loving look toward God may be better suited to the disposition of some persons. But the same procedures are followed as in the use of the sacred word. The word is a sacred word because it is the symbol of your intention to open yourself to the mystery of God’s presence beyond thoughts, images and emotions. It is chosen not for its content but for its intent. It is merely a pointer that expresses the direction of your inward movement towards the presence of God.

To start, introduce the sacred word in your imagination as gently as if you were laying a feather on a piece of absorbent cotton. Keep thinking the sacred word in whatever form it arises. It is not meant to be repeated continuously. The word can flatten out, become vague or just an impulse of the will, or even disappear. Accept it in whatever form it arises.

When you become aware that you are thinking some other thoughts, return to the sacred word as the expression of your intent. The effectiveness of this prayer does not depend on how distinctly you say the sacred word or how often, but rather on the gentleness with which you introduce it into your imagination in the beginning and the promptness with which you return to it when you are hooked on some other thought.

Thoughts are an inevitable part of centering prayer. Our ordinary thoughts are like boats sitting on a river so closely packed together that we cannot see the river that is holding them up. A thought in the context of this prayer is any perception that crosses the inner screen of consciousness. We are normally aware of one object after another passing across the inner screen of consciousness: images, memories, feelings, external impressions. When we slow down that flow for a little while, space begins to appear between the boats. Up comes the reality on which they are floating.

The prayer of centering is a method of directing your attention from the particular to the general, from the concrete to the formless. At first you are preoccupied by the boats that are going by. You become interested in seeing what is on them. But just let them all go by. If you catch yourself becoming interested in them, return to the sacred word as the expression of the movement of your whole being toward God present within you.

The sacred word is a simple thought that you are thinking at ever deepening levels of perception. That’s why you accept the scared word in whatever form it arises within you. The word on your lips is exterior and has no part in this form of prayer. The thought in you imagination is interior; the word as an impulse of your will is more interior still. Only when you pass beyond the word into pure awareness is the process of interiorization complete. That is what Mary of Bethany was doing at the feet of Jesus. She was going beyond the words she was hearing to the Person who was speaking and entering into union with Him. This is what we are doing as we sit in centering prayer interiorizing the sacred word. We are going beyond the sacred word into union with that to which it points—the Ultimate Mystery, the Presence of God, beyond any perception that we can form of him.” 


So this became my practice, and it opened up pathways to moments with the Lord that surpassed all my previous experience. The Lord always seem to catch my attention through consolation, and then gently lead me to solid ground where participation with Him is sought without so much inner fanfare and delight. The danger with too much consolation is that we can begin to seek it instead of maturing into a union with God based on faith along. Without God’s gentle wisdom on this matter, we can end up chasing after the wake of the ship when God wants to take us on board where we can be shaped into a proper vehicle of His love and service. But at the same time, grace beckons us to let go of any resistances to God’s love and to flow with ease towards this way of life He desires for us.

It was never too difficult for me to discipline myself to practice this prayer for the recommended two sessions a day of at least twenty minutes each. I looked forward to this time and gauged the rest of my day around these grace filled  times of just sitting in silence before the Lord.

Monday 18 April 2016

The Strangers In The Box


Come, look with me inside this drawer
In this box I've often seen
At the pictures, black and white
Faces proud, still and serene.

I wish I knew the people
These strangers in the box
Their names and all their memories
Are lost among the socks.

I wonder what their lives were like, 
How did they spend their days/
What about their special times?
I'll never know their ways.



If only someone would have taken time,
To tell who, what, and when,
Those faces of my heritage
Would come to life again.

Could this become the fate
Of the pictures we take today?
The faces and the memories
Someday to be tossed away.

Make time to save your pictures
Seize the opportunity when it knocks
Or someday you and yours could be
The strangers in the Box.

Pam Harazim

Wednesday 30 March 2016

Legacy Writing Course St. John XXIII




GUIDED AUTOBIOGRAPHY:
WRITING THE STORY OF OUR LIVES

Saint John XX111 Parish April 11 - June 06 ,2017

The Catholic Grandparents Association of Saint John XX111 Parish in Dartmouth is reoffering Guided Autobiography, a guided writing course based on Dr. James E. Birren's 25 years of autobiographical writing experience in small group settings that was presented to two groups last year in St. John XX111.

The course is 8 weeks long , one 2.5 hour lesson/practicum each week. Your Instructor is Linda MacDonald, retired professor from St. Mary's University and trained in the Birren method at University of Southern California.  (Google: Guided Autobiography: Writing and Telling stories of Lives JE Birren)

A suggested offering for the 8 week course, including lesson materials and background information is $ 38.00 per person.

The course helps us to recall and write our life story, to explore major themes in our lives like work, home, relationships, faith, death and much more. Participants in this course will have a personal , professionally designed summary of your live and faith which makes an excellent gift to pass on to families ...your legacy .

We plan to begin this course on April 11 th. but this may change to meet special requirements .

Contacts: 
Deacon Tom Smith at St. Ignatius 
tesmith@ns.sympatico.ca , 902-835-2910  

Ron Beed, at abeed@eastlink.ca 902-435-5409  

Deacon Len Moore, lenmoore@live.ca  902- 434-0567

Linda at 902-435-1966.

Friday 25 March 2016

Easter Greeting 2016

Sent: Friday, March 25, 2016 5:04 AM
Subject: Wishing you a Blessed and Peaceful Easter
 

Dear Ronald

Wishing you the Richest Blessings of Peace, Love, Joy and hope this Easter from the Catholic Grandparents Association. We are growing from strength to strength with your support and we thank you most sincerely for all you do to help us.
 
 



Please be kind enough to print our Easter Newsletter and share with your friends.
 

Tuesday 9 February 2016

The Inner Journey




We often think that God is way out there, apart from us, distant.  But that is far from the truth, far from reality.  We experience God as we journey inward, not outward into the world of changing things.  The mountain where God wishes to establish His home, that highest mountain where all nations shall stream towards too find justice and to be instructed in the truth, is not some far away place.  It is within.  We are so caught in this outer visible reality -- what we see, what we need and want, what we feel and think -- that we forget and ignore the reality within, God’s Dwelling place.  We search for Him in distant places, or in our activities, when all that He requires of us is to be still, and journey within; away from the visible; away from the surface.  

St. Theresa of Avila calls it journeying within the interior castle.  Many of us are caught on the outside.  We feel isolated from God, unaware of His plan for our life because we do not venture to where He is.  We must leave this outer place and enter into the inner chamber where He dwells.  The first outer room begins to bring us to some awareness that He is present.  We begin, or at least to desire to conform our outward actions with that inward intuitively call; to bring them in line.  As we venture further in, we experience more of the warmth of His love.  It touches and sooths our soul, and brings it into deeper awareness that something special lies ahead, something we want to be a part of.  We experience an inner awakening to spiritual things, marked with peace, love, gentleness, understanding.  We not only dare to journey on, we desire to move on.  As we enter deeper into this inner chamber, this light and love grows more intensely.  It exposes us to our own darkness, unworthiness.  We sometimes feel very unclean in the presence of such purity, yet the light and love have a transforming effect on us.  It actually transforms our darkness into light.  That which we cling to, or clings to us, fall away, and the inner chamber of our hearts begin to glow with the spirit.  We experience the living water that wells up within.  We experience the light that transforms.  We experience desire to be united with the light, spirit to touch spirit, soul to touch soul.  The outer reality is still there, but sufficiently secure that we no longer seek after it.  What now consumes us is our desire to enter deeper into this new reality that transforms and saves.  So we go on, often guided only by our thirst for that which lies in secret, in silence. 

Occasionally, we touch this inner reality.  Love meeting love.  We’ve arrived home, nothing can surpass the experience of finally arriving at the place sought, but only for a moment, and then some distraction, some thought, some feeling carries us away.  Yet even these touches of grace are sufficient to keep us steadfast in our journey.  

We now dare to venture out into our outer reality, carrying with us the remnants of light, grace and love to be shared with others.  They are such fragile efforts, mere tokens of love compared to its source.  They are more fragments of gold dust taken from the burning fire that lies at the centre of our being, but offering them is like offering our greatest treasure.  They are offered with fear at first, with apprehension that they may be rejected, not seen by others as something of immense value.  But later they are offered more freely, accepted by some, and not by others, but that’s OK.  It’s important that they are offered, given freely away, in imitation of their source.  

Isaiah
In the days to come, the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest mountain and raised above the hills.  All nations shall stream toward it.  Many people shall come and say: Come, let us climb the Lord’s mountain, to the House of God of Jacob, that He may instruct us in His ways, and we may walk in His path.  O House of Jacob, come.  Let us walk in the light of the Lord

Thursday 4 February 2016

Further Understandings of the Journey



My opening journal entry read as follows:
"We have arrived.  Our plane (and us) arrived without a hitch in Louisville at 4:55 PM as promised.  We rented a car at the airport and were on our way.  We had dinner in Bardstown and met Sister Danielle at Bethany Spring at 8:00 P.M.  Everything exceeds my expectations.  The countryside, the sound of crickets, the quietness, all made me realize how precious I find stillness. I can’t believe I’m here, after reading about Gethsemane for nearly twenty years."  
 
After settling in, we went to bed early in order to get up for the 5:45 AM morning prayer at the Abbey.


My wife and I made two trips to Gethsemane; a four day visit in September, 1996 which only whetted our appetites for the much longer five week visit in the spring of 1997.  During these visits, I was given the quiet moments I needed to explore more deeply the writings of Thomas Merton, Thomas Moore, Thomas Keating, George Maloney and others.  

Through their insights, I began to unravel some of the obstructions in my own mysterious journey.

In "Care of the Soul", Thomas Moore wrote: 

“Writers are taught to “write what you know about”.  The
same advise applies to the quest for the power of the soul: be good at what you’re good at.  Many of us spend time and energy trying to be something that we are not.  But this is a move against soul, because individuality rises out of the soul as water rises out of the depth of the earth.  We are who we are because of the special mix that makes up our soul.  Power begins in knowing this special soul, which may be entirely different from our fantasies about who we are or who we want to be.”

Thomas Keating, in his trilogy of books, “Open Mind Open Heart”, Intimacy With God”, and “Invitation to Love” would introduce me to a system of prayer called “centering” which
caused my prayer of stillness to blossom. His books also brought me to a greater understanding of the tension I was experiencing at this point in my life, and thus provided some necessary assurance that many of the things I was experiencing were normal.

According to Keating, I possessed the symptoms of one who was experiencing the “dark night of the senses” an expression coined by St. John of the Cross.

These symptoms included:
(i)  a generalized aridity in both the conventional methods of prayer and discursive meditation, and daily life in general,
(ii)  a manifestation of a fear that one is going backwards, and that through some personal fault or failure we have offended God.
(iii)  an inability or disinclination to practice discursive meditation in which one ponders the teaching and example of Jesus
(iv)  a desire to spend more time alone and in solitude, not for the sake of isolating oneself from society, but to be obscurely in God’s presence.

Let’s look at each of these symptoms in a little more detail.

(i)  I was quite aware that I could not find the same interest in the conventional methods of prayer that use to be very satisfying.  Formal prayer seemed too structured. My attention to this prayer was very distracted, sometimes to the point of having little recollection of the contents of what I read.  Also, the sense of satisfaction that use to come from fulfilling these prayer commitments was dulled and ineffective.  The old enthusiasm for them was not there. Keating would explain this phenomenon in this way:

“This aridity springs from the realization that no created thing can bring us unlimited satisfaction or the satisfaction previously experienced.  In light of this intuition, we know that all the gratifications we were seeking when we were motivated by our emotional programs cannot possibly bring us happiness.  This creates a period of mourning, during which all things that we had counted on to bring us happiness are slowly relativized.”

(ii)  Although I experienced much consolation during my times of solitude and prayer of quiet, I carried with me a sense that following God required that I become more rooted in activity (Christian Service). In wanting to do otherwise, it was as if I was not being charitable, that I was being self-centered.  I carried an underlying belief that this outward action is what God expected of me, and I multiplied these actions in hopes of purging this self-centred attribute.  Again, Keating says:

“During these times, some people mistakenly think it is the end of their relationship with God.  This is not true.  What has ended is there over dependence on the senses and reasoning.  God is really offering a more intimate relationship.  If they would not reflect on their anxious feelings, they would begin to perceive it.”

(iii) In prayer, I spontaneously moved towards more times of quiet and solitude.  I continued with the other types of prayer but ultimately, stillness would result.  My outward prayer activities, however, were principally unsatisfying.  Keating remarks:

“Our ordinary ways of relating to God are being changed to ways that we do not know.  This pulls the rug out from under our plans and strategies for the spiritual journey.  We learn that the journey is a path that cannot be mapped out in advance.  God helps us to disidentify from our preconceived ideas by enlightening us from within.


(iv)  I discovered that looking too close at this tension, or attempting to purge this tension through more activity just did not work.  It only split, to a greater degree, the inner self (which truly wishes to be aligned with God’s will) from the exterior person who identifies and sees him(her) self in the frantic activity that never satisfies.  However, during this time it was difficulty to stop, to become composed, and then to place complete trust in God to do what I was unable to do myself.


A "saving grace" for me at this time (and for many years following) was the discovery of an the eight-day contemplative retreat experience in a book written by Fr. George Maloney SJ called "Alone With The Alone".

Saturday 30 January 2016

Grandparent's Road To Saintly Behavior


1. Find God in simple chores. We all share responsibility for doing simple chores. Place emphasis on the sharing and doing. Be available.

2. Be positive. Complement one another. Look for the best in others. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

3. Spend an hour each day reading about things that matter. Spend time talking about things that matter, praying with each other. Good substitute for TV.

4. Balance solitude with activity. Provide space for quiet time.

5. Move towards more prayer, spiritual reading, masses or church services.

6. Take periodic retreats away from home.

7. Be in touch with nature, such as gardening, walks, beaches.

8. Be a part and keep in touch with small group in your communities. Find places of trust, respect, safe havens to be.

9. Exercise, eat healthy, share physical activities with others.

10. Listen to the still small voice inside you and follow what it tells you.

11. Rediscover your purest inner self. You become pleased with yourself when you know that God is pleased with you, and self-concerns disappear.

12. Be charitable and giving. We express this by taking care of each other, kindness and respect for each other, living the golden rule, sharing of time talent and treasure.

13. Encourage and find ways to enhance your faith. Focus on God and living the Spiritual life.

14. Look back on life's experiences to rediscover meaningful times of growth and happiness.

15. Base your decisions and actions on what you perceive to be right, not on possibilities for benefits and entitlements.


Thursday 28 January 2016

Archdiocese Letter Re Lenten Video Series 2016


MEMO
TO: All Pastors, Parishes, and  Parish Pastoral Planning Contacts
FROM: Office of Pastoral Life & New Evangelization       
DATE: January 27, 2016
RE: 2016 Lenten Series


Hello friends,

Many have been inquiring about the 2016 Lenten Video Series and we are happy to provide you with some details.  We are putting the final touches the videos and the resources and will have all material available shortly.   Below is an article that will be featured in the upcoming February edition of Discipleship and it further details the content and format of this year’s Series.  Should you have any questions or need more information please contact your region’s PL&NE representative noted in the table following the article.

Lenten Series 2016 – Taking the Next Step

“This three part series is designed to help you imagine what a dynamic community of missionary disciples looks like in concrete terms.” Archbishop Mancini

Our second Lenten Series, being held in the context of the Year of Mercy, is designed to activate our spiritual imaginations.  Through prayer, conversation, and reflection, the series will help us to imagine what a community of believers, focused on the mission of Christ, looks and acts like in our time and place.  Each of the three sessions explores fundamental aspects of Mission, Community, and Formation with the goal of helping each one of us articulate the necessary actions required to be modern day followers of Jesus Christ.

At the heart of the Archbishop’s 2014 Pastoral Letter is a question: Lord, Where Are You Going? Over the past year we have looked at our parish communities in terms of mission, community, and formation in order to discern where we are - but to get where we are going requires taking the next step.  The next step is to look beyond where we are now and envision what actions must be undertaken to get to where the Lord is calling us to go.

This phase of our process of transformation asks each parish, or group of parishes, to create a pastoral plan. Pastoral planning isn’t about trying to keep doing the same things we’ve always done in the way we’ve always done them.  That’s no longer possible.  Our world has changed dramatically, and the pace of change continues to quicken. Therefore, through the course of this series we must identify the actions required to face the challenge of proposing Jesus Christ in today’s circumstances.

Identifying these actions requires a process of discernment and spiritual conversation.  This year’s Lenten series is intended to let you do most of the talking!  Each session features a short introduction from Archbishop Mancini, followed by three 10 minute segments focused on a particular aspect of the topic.  A time of prayer and group discussion follows each segment.  From there each participant completes a short survey aimed at capturing where the parish is excelling and may need improvement.  This information will be used by your parish pastoral planning team to help create the action plan for your community. All sessions conclude with a short reflection from Archbishop Mancini focused on the Gospel readings for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Sundays of Lent.

In session one, John Stevens – Manager, Pastoral Life & New Evangelization – identifies our mission using Biblical examples, the wisdom of Pope Francis’ exhortation The Joy of the Gospel, and the contents of Archbishop Mancini’s 2014 Pastoral Letter.  Each short segment focuses on an aspect of our mission; Sharing Christ with Others, Ministry to Those in Need, and Reliance on the Holy Spirit and ends with questions to consider in our personal and parish life.

In session two, Fr. Rob Arsenault, C.C. – Chaplain at Dalhousie & St. Mary’s University – brings our focus on the crucial aspect of community.  Speaking from his experience as a pastor, working with young adults, and as a member of a religious community Fr. Rob challenges our assumptions about our sacramental life, our relationships with one another and the world, and our systems and structures.  Each segment seeks to answer the question, “if someone who knew nothing about Christ came to our church, what would they see?”

In the third, and final, session, Chris O’Hara – Staff Member at the St. Therese School of Faith and Mission – reflects on our need for Formation.  Combining his experience working in youth leadership with the writings of Saint John Paul II Chris offers us a look at formation, in terms of the maturation of our Christian life. As someone working regularly in the formation of youth and young adults Chris brings a fresh perspective to our understandings of faith formation. Each segment looks to explore how growing in discipleship, leadership, and service are essential to accomplishing our missionary mandate.

Sessions can be completed in a variety of ways.  Small groups meeting in homes offer an excellent opportunity for in depth discussion.  The format also lends itself to a weekly series, parish missions, day long retreats and other creative uses.  Additionally, the diocese is exploring other means of participation using web based opportunities. Hopefully, parishes will offer a variety of ways for people to participate.

Last year an average of 1,000 people participated in the three sessions of the Lenten Series, often despite terrible weather conditions! Given the important nature of the material being discussed we hope you will add your input to this process.  If you have ideas, hopes, passions, and aspirations for our church the 2016 Lenten Series offers a forum to share them with others in a context of faith and prayer.

REGION
NAME
CONTACT
Les paroisses acadiennes dans les regions d’ Argyle et Clare
Wanda Comeau
PH: (902) 769-3844
Annapolis Valley-Yarmouth-South Shore 
Sr. Bernadette Cool, foh
srbernadette@halifaxyarmouth.org  PH: (902) 429-9800 ext 322
Dartmouth/Eastern Shore   
Lydia Hood
PH: (902) 429-9800 ext 311
Halifax/Central          
Aurea Sadi
PH: (902) 429-9800 ext 310
North/Central
John Stevens
PH: (902) 429-9800 ext 331






Aurea Sadi
Office of Pastoral Life & New Evangelization
Archdiocese of Halifax-Yarmouth
Ph: (902) 429-9800 ext. 310
Cell: (902) 802-5486
Fax: (902) 423-5201


Monday 25 January 2016

Passages

Our Christian destiny is, in fact, a great one: but we cannot achieve greatness unless we lose all interest in being great.  For our own ideas of greatness are illusory, and if we pay too much attention to it, we will be lured out of the peace and stability of the being God gave us, and seek to live in a myth we have created for ourselves.
Thomas Merton “No Man Is An Island”


There seems to be passages through which we must go at certain intervals in our lives.  The most obvious one would be the transition from adolescence to adulthood.  The events of this passage are well documented; raging hormones, a striving for independence, a general lack of maturity in dealing with life’s situations.  But are there not other passages in life that we must go through as well?
  

If one were to look at Jesus’ life, three passages are easily observable:  

The first being His baptism in the river Jordan when He was more fully awakened to His own personal identity as one with a special mission.

The second being the forty days He spent in the desert overcoming the world, the flesh, and the devil so that He could begin His ministry unobstructed by worldly ambitions, compulsions, desires, and anything else that might become an obstacle to following His inner voice.

His third passage being His final surrender in the garden of Gethsemane where, in obedience to faith, He gave consent to let go of His very life.

Many of these passages we are also called to experience.  And the more we resist these movements of Grace, the
greater our suffering.  Through the process of letting go, we eventually discover that something of greater value lies beyond.  The only difficulty is that as we are passing through, the fear of being cut off from the familiar obscures our vision and confuses our mind. We experience what Thomas Merton and other mystics call “spiritual dread”.

In my first posting, I began by describing early graced moments as times of wonder and awe, something that we desire and seek.  We must realize too that graced moments are also those times of passages, times of tension, when life is calling us to emerge like butterflies from a caterpillar’s cocoon.  These graced moments can be frightening to us because they are asking us to move away from the familiar.  And we do not know what to expect as we are drawn into these uncharted waters.  We do not look forward to or seek these times as they go against some of our natural build-in defense mechanisms that seek comfort and certainty.
 
One such passage (and therefore grace) began for me in my late forties. The following tension was noted in my journal at that time.

“The tension that I’m trying so hard to overcome is this growing lack of interest in exterior things. This becomes evident in how I feel about activities that use to be an important part of my life. I struggle to understand why this is happening, but I'm beginning to believe that I may have to learn to live with it. 

Deep within myself, I'm beginning to experience a growing sense of presence and peace to which I am drawn.  It resides interiorly when I am in silence and solitude.  During these times, exterior things lose their relevance.  My outward striving, plans and worldly concerns disappear into insignificance.  It is from within that I am at peace, knowing that I’m loved for who I am.  It is here that I experience God; loving, nourishing, healing, allowing the inner fire of His love to glow, assuring me that what I search for cannot be found in any other place. ”

At this time of passage, it was apparent that I was beginning to experience increasing dissatisfaction with my exterior life; but this was being compensated by a richer and more satisfying interior life.  It seemed that a solution to such a dilemma would be to escape entirely to this interior reality and leave the exterior behind.  Of course, on quick reflection, one could easily conclude that such, if even possible, was not the solution.

Thomas Merton in his book “No Man Is An Island” touched on what I was experiencing with the following:

“When a man constantly looks at himself in the mirror of his own acts, his spiritual double vision splits him into two people.  And if he strains his eyes hard enough, he forgets which one is real.  In fact, reality is no longer found either in himself, or in his shadow.  The substance has gone out of itself into the shadow, and he has become two shadows instead of one real person.

Then the battle begins.  Whereas one shadow was meant to praise the other, now one shadow accuses the other.  The activity that was meant to exalt him reproaches and condemns him.  It is never real enough; never active enough.  The less he is able to be the more he has to do.  He becomes his own slave driver – a shadow whipping a shadow to death, because it cannot produce reality, infinitely substantial reality, out of his own nonentity.

Then comes fear.  The shadow becomes afraid of the shadow.  He who “is not” becomes terrified at the things he cannot do.  Where for a while he had illusions of infinite power, miraculous sanctity (which he was able to guess at in the mirror of his virtuous actions) now it had all changed.

Why do we have to spend our lives striving to be something that we would never want to be, if we only knew what we wanted.  Why do we waste our time doing things which, if we only stopped to think about them, are just the opposite of what we were made for.

We cannot be ourselves unless we know ourselves.  But self-knowledge is impossible when thoughtless and automatic activity keeps our souls in confusion.  In order to know ourselves, it is not necessary to cease all activity in order to think about ourselves.  That would be useless, and would probably do most of us a great deal of harm.  But we have to cut down our activity to the point where we can think calmly and reasonably about our actions.  We cannot begin to know ourselves until we can see the real reasons why we do the things we do, and we cannot be ourselves until our actions correspond to our intentions, and our intentions are appropriate to our own situation. “

The way through this uncertain and turbulent passage, I discovered, would be through inward stillness.  In quiet stillness, allowing my body, my thoughts, my feelings to be at rest, an inner light began to guide me through the difficult passage until a new life blossomed.  And it would never fail that I would be in a better place after than before, emerging once again more whole, and more accepting of the mystery contained in the human journey.


In the spring of 1997, this passage took me to the Abbey of Gethsemane in Bardstown Kentucky, the Trappist monastery that captivated and inspired Thomas Merton for the majority of his life.

Friday 15 January 2016

Why Share A Faith Legacy

Often today, we see posters and signs encouraging us to live in the “present moment”.  “The past is gone, the future is yet to be determined.  Real life happens “now”, in the present moment.”  

Being a long-time meditator, I certainly believe in this myself.  Let’s face it, too much time can be wasted dwelling on past hurts or mistakes, mulling over past stories that only stir up a sense of sadness or regret.
 
If this is the case, then what is the purpose of sharing the stories of our past, our faith legacy?  Is this not giving too much attention to what lies behind us, and takes us away from living our lives in the present moment?
 
If we are writing our stories in order to romanticize the past or to dwell negatively on the burdens and hardships we had to bear, then I agree it would be best to let them go and forget the past.  Do your best to live your life to its fullness “now”.  After all, why create a life that is lost in the drama and pain of past events that take away the joy of this present moment. 
    
However, our stories, the legacy of our faith can be a “present moment” experience.   What is a “present moment” experience?  When we give our attention to something that is immediate, whether it is a mountain view, a sunset, a flower, an ocean scene etc., we become immersed in an awe and wonder that produces joy, peace, love and contentment.  If this is your experience, you have entered the world of your true self.  You are living in the present moment.   This is the place where your Spirit comes in contact with God’s Spirit, and the two unite.
 
Psalm 139 does that for me as well.
 
“Lord, you have searched me and know me, You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.  You search out my path and are acquainted with all my ways.  Even before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.”
  
  
Psalm 139 is a legacy of faith.  It speaks of a past story of one’s experience with God, but brings it alive to the “now”.  It produces the joy, peace, love and contentment of the present moment. 


Over the years, we discover that we have been guided by that which lies beyond the false notion of ourselves.  When we can more fully experience this eternal connection that we possess, then we also can more easily embrace the life we have at this moment which we see as fleeting but also most precious.  From this standpoint, the human experiences of the past become of immeasurable value and are treasured because they represent for us (and others) moments that have provided for our growth, our well-being, and our happiness.  

Our connection with God through these past experiences becomes a witness to ourselves and to others of God’s continuous presence in each moment of our lives.  

Monday 11 January 2016

Moving Towards A Contemplative Live

People have the fundamental duty to orientate their entire being and life to God. 
Thomas Merton

I cannot recall the specific time that my new life and prayer took a turn from discursive to contemplative. 

By discursive prayer, I mean prayer that uses the faculties of the mind and imagination in the development of concepts, images 
and understanding of God.  In contemplative prayer, these faculties are by-passed, and one becomes immersed in God as mystery, God as love.  It is experiential but not at the level of the intellect or emotions.  There is only a sense of being in God’s presence.

It all seemed to happen quite naturally.  As a result of participation in the prayer group, and church activities, prayer became a norm that I grew to love.  Through all of this, I did not cling to any particular style of prayer; so when the time came to change to a different type of prayer, it was not from any conscious decision but seemed to flow from what I was experiencing at the momentDuring times of scripture reflection, reading, or ordinary prayer, I would often find myself slipping into a silence where all I wanted to do was to be still, to let my obsessive thoughts fade away, and strangely sit in the presence of "nothingness".  I was quite happy to be there for a time, soaking in the peaceful stillness as if some mysterious force was present there changing me and shaping me into something of its own design. 

This was the beginning of the time that I seemed to desire solitude, of not being disturbed.  And often this time was followed by some form of consolation, of being united with that "nothingness".  So rather than being a planned activity like many other things in my life at that time, there was a flow about it that made it feel quite natural and right.  

As I read and was influenced by the many books of Thomas
Merton, Thomas Keating, James Finley, William Shannon, Richard Rohr etc., I began to better understand and desire this form of contemplative calling.  And somewhere deep inside, I was drawn to the simplicity that a contemplative lifestyle could bring. It had an appeal at that stage of my spiritual life, even though I knew that such a life would be difficult for a working parent, with three young children.  

But balance among activities of family, work and ministry would always be an important consideration in my life, and I was learning the effects of imbalance as I plunged at times into too many activities.  These would be times of feeling overwhelmed, out of control.  And when these times would arise, adjustments had to be made so that life would take on some semblance of balance and smoothness.  So I would always return to these quiet moments, times of just sitting in the presence of "nothingness"  when life became overwhelmed with activity. It was often all that was needed to return to a balance that was more appropriate for my personality. 

During the years of transition towards this prayer of quiet, it seemed that my life could be broken down into two components.   The most frequent part had to do with carrying out of the normal day to day activities with job, family, and church.  Those moments were filled with all of their ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. The less frequent part were those moments when I would slip into a space that can only be described as the total absence of all those things.  It would be as if “self” no longer existed, and
nothing remained but a sense of oneness with God. Momentarily, it was a nice place to be, and when the time came for me to return to my outward life, I would venture back reluctantly. 

Fr. Richard Rohr describes the experience well:

God is always given, incarnate in every moment and present to those who know how to be present themselves. It is that simple and that difficult. To be present in prayer can be like the experience of being loved at a deep level. I hope you have felt such intimacy alone with God. I promise you it is available to you. Maybe a lot of us just need to be told that this divine intimacy is what we should expect and seek. We’re afraid to ask for it; we’re afraid to seek it. It feels presumptuous. We can’t trust that such a love exists—and for us. But it does.